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We have lived incredible times in the past century. Women became equal to men in all aspects. The feminine collective consciousness must be very proud.
I’m talking about United States. For good and bad, there’s no other country where the feminist movement had been taken to such an extreme. I feel fortunate for living in this country, and having experienced that I am a powerful woman.
I cannot move forward without saying that I hope all women in the world will experience such power, as a necessary step in healing the wounds of past and present oppression.
Feminism 1.0 – The Power of the Alfa
Feminism 1.0 has helped women gain their power, for the first time in a long history. We got education, jobs, money, and rights. To be equal to men, we became like them.
The best verb to describe the progress is “doing”. We can do everything. “Doing” is a very masculine energy. It means action, focus, and determination. Feminism 1.0 has helped women develop their masculine side. In this masculine energy, the woman does not need a man. The feminist alfa woman is exceptional at doing everything on her own.
He is most likely a good man, and dreams of being her hero. He wants to bring her the moon. While the man is getting ready for space travel, his woman knows exactly how to build the spacecraft, has already made the flight plan for him, and is just briefing him on the operation. And let’s say that despite the turbulence he masters to reach the moon and bring it back to her, she asks why didn’t he bring a different color? Then she performs a post-mission analysis, and thoroughly points out all areas of improvement. Here come Mars and Jupiter missions next, and she doesn’t understand why he’s a little bit withdrawn?
Because instead of allowing him, she stands in the way of his masculine energy with her own masculine energy. Not only he is demotivated, but he feels undermined in his power. Also known as emasculated. When the man feels emasculated, he retaliates. And here’s the essence of the war of the sexes, which is huge roadblock in the modern relationships.
Masculine energies colliding is why the alfa woman has a hard time getting and maintaining harmonious relationships with masculine men. It’s possibly the only area in her life where the alfa woman sucks. The problem is that relationships are essential for a feminine woman.
Here’s a beautiful song of Bonnie Taylor that describes a deep and timeless need of women, despite the strides in feminism:
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need
I need a hero…
What the alfa woman fails to understand is that she cannot hijack the battle, save him from the enemies, and still expect a hero.
Women would be happy on their own, and Feminism successfully completed, if women’s feminine core did not require relationships to be fulfilled.
Biologically, women are driven by oxytocin, the bonding hormone. For a woman to thrive, she needs an oxytocin environment where she bonds with friends, children, flowers, shopping, dance, and mostly with her man. As John Grey, the author of Mars and Venus series puts it, her man is a super oxytocin booster for the feminine woman. Men are driven by testosterone, the action hormone. A man has 20 times more testosterone than a woman. For men, being driven, focused, and action oriented is their nature. If a woman stays in testosterone mode for too long, she gets depleted fast.
So here is the whole issue of Feminism 1.0. It takes the woman out of her natural environment. She’s got it all, and yet she is unhappy.
As much as I love feminism, I feel it would be a little hopeless if we were to stop here.
I grew up with a powerful father, who left no doubt of his love for me and his availability to me. So I have a deep respect and appreciation of the masculine. I know how valuable the masculine energy is, and how much power and sustainability it can offer to the feminine.
So here comes Feminism 2.0, as a patch to fix the broken relationship issue of Feminism 1.0.
Feminism 2.0 – The Return of the Heroes
Feminism 2.0 is about a shift from masculine energy to feminine energy in relationships with men. It’s great that we’ve mastered the masculine energy, because we need it in the work force during daytime. Then comes the evening and we return home to our man, where the woman’s masculine energy is well… lethal.
It is crucial to bring the feminine back into relationships, if we hope for the return of the heroes.
Going back to the alfa woman who coordinates her man’s space mission. She’s just trying to help him because she’s very capable. She thinks she should just because she can. But really, should she? What’s lacking here is a more subtle understanding of how man operate.
It’s quite funny to notice that men have caught up to the fact that women want to talk, want to be listened, want flowers and foot rubs, …and the occasional star dust. Other than that, they admit they have no clue of how the heck women operate, but they do their best to follow roadmaps.
Women have not caught up to the fact that men are different. The phrase “men are simple” has been very misleading. They may be “simple”, but in which way exactly?
We misunderstood “simple” for “obedient,” or at least we hoped that’s what it meant. Being simple should mean being easy to deal with, being compliant. In practice, we notice that being obedient and compliant are the least of men’s traits.
And this is where we are right now: men are “simply” disobedient. Women grow frustrated every day because they don’t know how to navigate this paradox. We should get to a new understanding that “simple” means perhaps a less complicated cause-effect behavioral path, and definitely not obedience.
So in Feminism 2.0, the first job of a woman who wants harmonious relationships is to speak the man’s code. In other words, understand man’s language and actions.
One of the best books that I came across is The Queen’s Code. The underlying idea is that, because of misunderstanding of men’s nature, instead of turning the frog into a prince, women turn men into frogs and become frog farmers. The author has excellent points on why this happens, and how a woman can turn it around.
The consequence of understanding something different than yourself is growing in empathy and compassion. Understanding masculine energy as something of its own will bring awareness that the complementary feminine/masculine energies are both necessary for a synergistic relationship to happen. It will also bring the clarity that men are less equipped by nature to be the feminine counterpart, but women are the ones to rise up to it.
The best verb to describe Feminism 2.0 is “being”. Being more receptive, supportive, open. Less doing and more being. The “doing” has already been mastered.
The Dalai Lama have said “the world will be saved by the western woman”. I think it’s accurate that he saw so much potential in her qualities. We grew in courage, strength, fearlessness, which are essential for such endeavor. We just need to brush up in kindness, understanding, and compassion, so we can metamorphosize an emotionally broken world.
We are indeed powerful women. So, as a lover of feminism that I am, I’m looking forward to Feminism 2.0!
A Feminism Case Study – Fearless Girl, Charging Bull, and Pissing Pug
Here’s a timely case study supporting the necessity of Feminism 2.0.
The Fearless Girl statue has been placed on Wall Street in New-York city, right across the Charging Bull statue.
The bull was a famous standalone statue installed in 1989 representing financial bull markets, American power and prosperity. The Fearless Girl statue was placed this year (2017) for the International Women’s Day (March 8) as part of a feminist move, hijacking the space of the bull sculpture without asking for the artist’s permission.
Here’s the reasoning: “We were focusing on making a statement about the future of Wall Street. We wanted this wonderful contrast. The project is about girl power, a message to corporate boards that we are here, that we are heard, that we are permanent.” The plaque at the feet of Fearless Girl reads: “Know the power of women in leadership. SHE makes a difference.” (Article)
“Girl power?!” You gotta be kidding. You need mature woman energy to make such “statements.” This is not kids play.
Emasculation and Retaliation
So here we go, a great example of Feminism 1.0.
The girl is antagonistic to the bull. The two characters are locked in a confrontational stance. She is daring, defiant, and assertive. Her message is that she is not afraid, but that she can stand up against him despite his power.
I get it: women still feel the need to fight. The masculine is still overpowering. Feminism 1.0 is the stage where women are still antagonistic to men, and need to grow more confident in their own go-getter power.
The feminists placed the girl statue across the bull statue. Why? This is the whole point. To defy the masculine represented by the bull. What’s wrong with the bull, you may ask? Pretty much nothing, other that he’s powerful and represents masculinity. Emasculation arises out of the fear of the masculine, and wants to diminish it.
When women overcompensate their fear by emasculating men, men naturally retaliate. In this case, a pissed-off male artist placed an ugly peeing dog statue named “Pissing Pug” right next to the Fearless Girl, as peeing on her foot. Some upset feminists kicked and damaged the dog statue. The artist is going to fix it and bring it back next week.
Some more witty feminists could further place other statues, maybe a dogcatcher. And here is how the battlefield is born. An exact replica of the war of the sexes. And we wonder why we cannot have good relationships?
So why is she just a girl? Because she is immature. Can you imagine a mature woman? She would be confident, self-assured, less defiant. True fearlessness does not have a need to display, it just is.
The Bull Whisperer
In Feminism 2.0, the girl learns about bulls and becomes a bull whisperer. She knows fully well the mighty power of the bull, and she can contain it.
She steps into his space, touches him gently, and whispers to him softly. She feeds him out of her hand, because she knows how to tame him with “simple” treats. He melts under her warm touch, bows down to allow her on his back, and carries her wherever she needs to go. They ride and fight together for American prosperity and against all enemies.
… Or they ride into the sunset. Because when a mighty bull whisperer kisses the bull, he turns into a prince. And that’s just how things are.
We need Feminism 2.0, so that the defiant school girl of the present will grow up to become a bull rider.